Lately, I've been thinking about my novel and my readers. I mean, on one hand, I would really like to get more feedback on it, but on the other, I know this is life. If it does get published, most people who read my novel won't tell me everything they liked about it. So I guess I should get used to it. Out of the billion people who read a book, how many actually tell the author how much they love it (and why!)? I don't even write to authors, most of the time. Which makes me feel really guilty.

Not that I mind, though. Everyone does have busy lives. And I need to get used to this. It's just been a weird taste of the real world.

I've also been thinking about my novel and what kind of reader it attracts. When you read a novel, you bring your own tastes to it. You bring your own way of looking at the world. My favorite plays and movies and musicals and songs and books always touch me in a special way. Stranger than Fiction, my current favorite movie? In it, a man starts hearing a voice narrating in his mind, which turns out to be the voice of a renowned author, who is famous for killing her characters. I can relate to that really well, because I think about my characters as real people, too and wonder if someone out there has similar characteristics as my characters do (another reason I enjoyed Nim's Island, which I saw yesterday; as my mom says, she think it'll become a classic children's movie. I love how they didn't dumb it down for adults). A Northern Light, one of my favorite books? It's a coming-of-age story about a young writer named Mattie and her struggle to balance her writing with her place in the real world (hmm, something with the writer theme, huh?). And Wicked? Because I feel like I have green skin most of the time, too. It's funny, because I've taken her to such a different place in my novel, but I can still relate to Elphaba so much! Although...looking at where she gets to in my novel, I definitely wouldn't want to become her.

I've been wondering too why some people like my story. I mean, sure I know everyone won't. But the ones who seem to? What is it about their personal lives that causes them to relate to the story? That's the kind of feedback I'm really curious about. I'm so used to looking at things as a writer, that I'm curious to what the reader is thinking when they read every page. But it's not really the kind of feedback I need to know.

Lately, I've been getting more of my reader's lives; that one of them maybe also relates with my main character's outcasty feeling or something. And one of them might relate with something different about my protagonist. It's just...really interesting, when people relate. I love hearing all the different reactions of my novel. And even if someone hated it, that says something about them, too. Hmm.

But at the same time, I have control over my characters. They can go where I want, and I'm able to help them through their problems. But with my readers who might have the same problems as my characters do, it's a totally different case. It's nice reading a book with a character that has similar problems as you and knowing that you're not alone, but knowing you're not alone won't change anything. And I really wish I could help my readers, too. I wish I could help them with their problems like I can so easily with my characters. It's kind of nice being a writer and being able to make everything happen, but in real life...it's different.

Anyway, that's just something I've been thinking about. Not that I have an overwhelming supply of readers or anything, but there have been some things with some of my friends that have coincidentally matched events in my novel. It's weird. But also good, I guess, because I've been doing the right thing?

But even with my small amount of readers (not that they small to me!), I do know this: writers say the best part of writing is the readers and lately, I've been realizing how true that is.

So thanks, you guys!

As you can see, I've made a change in my livejournal. No, I didn't delete all the entries; I made them private. Though I have tried not to insult anyone on my livejournal, it still wouldn't hurt for me to look over the entries, to make sure they aren't too personal. By "personal" I don't mean "I live in _____, Arizona, and here's my full name so you can track me down", but "personal" meaning, I hope I wasn't giving you too much information about my feelings and such.

I'll be looking through my entries and deciding what to do. While I really like having the option of livejournal, which has always worked better for me than a "normal" journal, I might decide to transfer all this into another journal instead. Or (more likely) I'll just continue writing private entries and open them up to the public after my novel is done. After all, I still like writing for an audience (as small as it is right now).

Did something happen that made this experience? Well, yes. But I can't go into it...right now.

Thanks for understanding! I'll see you soon, I hope!